Okay. I’ve seen this like 8 times today on my dash. Every single time I’ve scrolled past it because I’ve told myself that I talk about whorephobia all the time and I talk about casual stigma against sex workers all the time.
But I can’t keep scrolling past that because I feel like there is a disconnect that is really apparent to me? Maybe because of my experience as a sex worker? But something always happens when people talk about porn is that it becomes an inhuman entity.
It becomes a thing. And people take the human part of porn and completely disregard it. We consistently disregard not only the workers in porn, but those who consume it. It becomes this nameless monster that controls itself and other people.
And so I always think about supply and demand. Porn hasn’t done this to us we’ve done it to porn. We are the ones who click those videos a million times. We are the ones who buy those DVD’s. We are the ones who download the most violent images we can find of anal sex where is the woman looks like she’s in pain and/or crying. We are the ones who do that.
I’m not sure where the disconnect is. I’m not sure why we don’t want to take responsibility for our own consumption. Because it literally is all of us. It is so readily available, you can get it on your phone, your computer, through email, Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, everywhere you look. Everywhere you look there’s porn. So to say that porn is this entity and it is “porn’s fault” I think it is really a backwards way to look at it.
There’s a reason why the top-selling porn videos in the entire world are all racist, violent, misogynist, and dangerous. And the reason is us. We are the ones who keep clicking “big dick destroys teen pussy”. And as disappointing as it is for people who don’t consume that type of media eyes are regularly or at all (I’m one of those people so…), it doesn’t negate the fact that the majority of people want to see that. There’s a reason why porn companies are churning out that kind of material right now over and over and over again. And the reason is us.
And I think until we realize that, in until we connect ourselves and our consumption, in our own sexual desires with the humanity of porn performers and with the human portion of porn itself, it will never stop. The problem will always be there and it will fester and it will grow.
The truth is porn performers are human beings. They’re trying to put food on their plate just like everyone else. And so when I see things like this that are casually blaming porn for the breakdown of intimacy and sex, I also see these things blaming porn performers for the breakdown of intimacy and sex in our culture. And that’s just completely and totally incorrect.
Because they aren’t breaking down anything, they are simply mirroring what’s already going on. They’re simply giving us what we’re (apparently) wanting. Go look at any of these porn sites and figure out what the most viewed video is and I would be willing to bet cash money it’s something with the word teen, young, innocent or something like that in there and there’s most likely some violent aspect to it. I can almost guarantee.
Like, and this isn’t nearly as nuanced as I would like it to be. Because I just don’t have the time. Its not addressing people like Max Hardcore or other porn houses to reach purposely to create the most violent images. I’m not denying that those people exist, and I’m not denying that they are problematic. But I’m saying that not addressing the individual people who are the problem, and not addressing the individual consumers who are the initial reason for the problem, is dangerous and it’s backwards and it’s ridiculous.