If you are trying to date me (or even just trying to friend me, but esp. if you are trying to date me):
Please do not complain to me about how laid you are getting, how many people are chasing after you, how many relationships you are in, and how juggling all of that is just so hard.
Especially please do not do this if you are some flavor of transmansculine individual. And especially especially please do not do this if you are a skinny white young hip conventionally attractive able-bodied middle-class transmansculine individual.
I have put in enough time being patient about this particular phenomenon with a number of lovers over the years. I am really fucking done. I have this left to say:
WORLD’S TINIEST FUCKIN’ VIOLIN, BRO.
By many peoples’ standards, I am a big slut with a varied and active sexual history. And still: I have never in my entire fucking life had more sex or dating than I wanted and could handle. I cannot even fathom what the hell that would look like, frankly?
So, y’know, maybe don’t complain about how hard it is to be Flavor of the Decade to someone who has never even been Flavor of the Day? Maybe be real about the fact that masculinity worship and femmephobia and misogyny (yes, even in queer “communities”) are, y’know, things? Maybe be real about the fact that fatphobia and ableism (yes, even in queer “communities”) are, y’know, things?
Maybe don’t deny the looks we get when we’re out together? Esp. the looks that say “what is he doing with that”? Maybe be real about the fact that when we are out together, you get hella cruised and I get hella ignored? Maybe admit that you are actually smart and savvy enough to know what that is actually about?
It’s not all in my head. It’s what I live with, every day. And when you pretend that it is not happening? And then, to add insult to injury, complain to me about what a hardship it is to have so many people cruising you? When, even at my sluttiest, my dance card is just never gonna compare to yours? Because the game is rigged in your favor?
You are complicit in it, and you lose my trust.