tobitastic:

So prepare for my specialty – a math inspired rant about sex. So I like reading craigslist casual encounters ads (I wrote a zine about it) and there’s a tendency for folks not to sell themselves in any way other than stating what they are looking for.  I understand how that works well for some folks, but I’m always a bit resentful.  Sure I’d love to do that, but why should I do that with you?  Especially in ads seeking trans women, they seem completely unaware of the issue of supply and demand and just seem entitled, sometimes even complaining about how no one is responding to their ad.  I saw one recently that was so specific and detailed in requirements I just had to crunch the numbers.

It was from a cis male and cis female couple looking for a trans woman penetrative top who must have 8 inch bits or longer to have sex with them both – “uncut and heavy cummers go to the head of the line.”

I was curious how many women actual fit their description.  First off, they live in a metropolitan area that holds 1.95% of the US population.  Craigslist says that they get 60 million unique visitors each month, so 1.95% of that is 1.172 million.  Trans people are about 0.2% of the population, so we can estimate that there are 2,345 trans people in the region who read craigslist.  Guessing that half of them are women that leaves us with 1,172.  In order to fit the ads criteria, a woman would have to not have had vaginoplasty and must be attracted to both men and women.  According to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey – the largest trans survey ever completed – 43 percent of surveyed trans people identified as bi or queer and 23% of trans women have had vaginoplasty.  That brings our numbers down to 388 trans women in the region who use craigslist, are bi, and pre/non-op. 

Now there’s the demand that you must be 8 inches or larger.  Stats say that 3% of cis men have genitals that large.  For trans women, it’s likely to be a lower, but we’ll go with that for now.  So now we’re looking at 11 people.

And remember, these are all craigslist users, not just the folks on casual encounters – I’m guessing at least a third of those folks could be looking for a job or to sell furniture rather than looking for sex.  And many trans women are completely uninterested in being a penetrative top.  There’s no numbers on that that I know of, but I’d say it’d be generous to say a third would be up for that activity.  Now we’re looking at 2-3 people who fit this criteria, but just as likely it might be only one or even zero!  What are the chances one of those people will read the ad?  What are the chances they’d be interested in you?

But there’s no attempt to be flirtatious or enticing.  Just “uncut and heavy cummers go to the head of the line.”  What line?  Think about how awkward this would be if it was clear and up front how few people were being talked about:

“I’m looking to hookup with someone who works as a teller for a Seattle branch of Bank of America.  You must be blonde and be named Marissa, Marsha, or maybe Sara.  If you had a birthday last month, that’s even better!  You must be into anal.  Multi orgasmic squirters go to the front of the line.  Send me a message with ‘At your service’ in the subject line or it will go in the trash.  No pic, no reply.” 

"Guys, why are there costumes involved? These are short conversations, they’re not supposed to take —"
"Your breath away? Well, tough!"

am i amazing

yes you am!

(Source: neilcicierega, via sugaryumyum)

thisishangingrockcomics:

actual diary entry from when i was in 5th grade oh my god

THIS. WINS. EVERYTHING.

thisishangingrockcomics:

actual diary entry from when i was in 5th grade oh my god

THIS. WINS. EVERYTHING.

(via burnthispress)

gaytectives:

full detailed guide to bbc’s sherlock

(Source: gaytectivesinactive, via bbcsherlockftw)

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

“No, seriously, gurl. I think he’s totally cruising you.”
“Oh my GOD. He is SO CUTE. Look at his ARMS.”
Scott and Jeremy both enjoyed a pretty man-parade.

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

“No, seriously, gurl. I think he’s totally cruising you.”

“Oh my GOD. He is SO CUTE. Look at his ARMS.”

Scott and Jeremy both enjoyed a pretty man-parade.

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

“TRICIA! You’re home early!”
Willing his eyes away from the closet and putting on his most ingratiating expression, Allen knew he was on shaky, shaky ground.
Hopefully Bryce would just keep quiet.

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

“TRICIA! You’re home early!”

Willing his eyes away from the closet and putting on his most ingratiating expression, Allen knew he was on shaky, shaky ground.

Hopefully Bryce would just keep quiet.

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

She was still waffling. Melanie wasn’t quite sure this was going to be her go-to look.

peoplelikeanimalstalking:

She was still waffling. Melanie wasn’t quite sure this was going to be her go-to look.

DED. Thank you, Jayvin.

gadaboutgreen:

fsufeminist:

girlargueswithtree:

whynotnibbler:

Ana Gasteyer does a better Nicki Minaj than Nicki Minaj.

sooo funnneee. i wish the gay proms i went to were like this

this was so good

God, this made me miss 90s/early 2000s SNL.

Superbass. 

(Source: mrgolightly)

Tags: DED lulz gay prom

"David Bowie spends two hours before a show caressing his body with paint!"

The snotty dialogue is amazing.

(Also: Thanks, Boyfriend!)