I’m thinking right now about self(ie)-presentation strategies; namely, how I pose myself, angle my camera/recording device, what kinds of contexts I take pictures in, what faces I make, etc. for selfies that are intended for public consumption.
there is always a certain degree of concern, no matter the intended effect of my posture or whatever, with ‘looking pretty’ or ‘looking boyish’, or, more often, both; what both of these things translate to, on some level, is ‘looking thin’, and, also not obviously performing the work involved in looking thin (i.e. trying not to take recourse to obvious fat-person-angles; managing to evince a level of nonchalance that may or may not be genuine).
this is part of why I tend to be very selective about body shots: because that work becomes much more difficult when you get to the chunk of me above the knees and below the collarbone. (it’s also because selfies are easiest to take in a flattering way when it’s your face/upper body.)
I’m thinking a lot about how it is that this attitude to presenting myself in non-corporeal contexts helps to keep bodies that carry gender in the way mine does invisible; I am playing my part in not giving people access to images of visibly-fat androgyny, in not showing the kinds of work I do in order to become legible, and this bothers me.
I want to make something about this, and what I was considering doing was making a tumblr of selfies: mostly images of me, or parts of me, that I find most dysphoria-inducing, posed with or in contexts that don’t fit the kinds of imagery most naked or partly-clothed bodies like mine usually are burdened with; or maybe my body, in the kinds of masculine poses I do in front of the mirror, but not hiding behind clothes, a binder, or strategic leaving-out-of-the-frame.
I don’t promise that I’ll follow through with this, but I’m wondering if this is something other people would want to see if I actually tried to do this.