Yalith told me last night that the pajama pants I wore out to dinner & errands with her (because I was like, fuck it, it’s after 9pm & I’m in pain & also cold & this cute skirt isn’t cutting it for warmth/comfort) looked not only like actual legit pants, but like actual legit *fancy* pants.
This is very dangerous.
Because basically 50% of my fashion is:
- Let’s get ready to look SOOO GOOOD!
(Frankly, if I am trying to impress, bang, &/or date you, I am way more likely to BRING IT with the fashion.)
But the other 50% is:
- Cripple femme who just rolled outta bed & eschews bras, anything tight, anything uncomfortable, & any garment that requires a lot of adjusting.
That feeling when you come up with a killer outfit, miss the occasion you were originally going to wear it on, and then when you try and work out how to make it day-wearable, you realise that that’s not possible, because jfc, the street hassle will be so intense
Like, how do you queens who don’t live in parts of cities where hardly anyone gives a fuck what you wear and are not continually zonked-out on various substances manage?
Because my outfit game is so much better in the safety of my own home than when I go out, and that’s because the amount of street hassle, both good-natured and otherwise, that I get when not in the Village or something is just too much to handle for a nice stroll around town.
oh, do i KNOW this feel! and i live in a place where people largely don’t give a fuck what other people wear. (less so than in new york, though, i think. the utter daringness and attention to detail in a lot of peoples’ fashion in nyc continually astounds/inspires me. i thought the bay area was a lqqkz-conscious place, but whenever i visit nyc i’m like DAMN, EVERYONE’S OUTFIT IS SO PUT TOGETHER. i’m not sure what it is. that y’all have harsher weather? that a combo of baby boomers & schlubby tech industry dudes means the slacker look is for some reason perpetually “in” in sf? i dunno!)
any way: i am a fan of things like baggy pants + a hoodie over an outfit, or just a giant-ass coat over an outfit when it is cold. or a baggy/less slutty dress (or a shirt, sometimes, if i’m showing a lot of tit but maybe not a lot of gam or ass) worn over a slutty dress.
but mostly, honestly, i just accept that a certain amount of street harrassment comes with the territory of being me & dressing the way i do.
if i was skinnier and i didn’t (mostly) walk with a cane, i would probably get way less shit. or, like, i’m sure i’d get street harrassment, but i am venturing to guess it’d be of the “hey baby nice tits wanna fuck?” variety versus the “FAT SLUT FAT SLUT FAT SLUT!” variety. being Out In Public & Interacting With Strangers is generally about a 40/60 split btwn each of those categories, respectively. which can suck, but also, being white and usually being able to pass as cis (unless i am dressed in an esp. genderfucky way) and being able to pass as middle-class and also being on the smaller end of fat/chubby (and hence, often though not always basically being perceived as The Nice White Lady) also mitigates it.
frankly, how much i am on the town council also has an impact. like, some days i feel like i can slut strut all around the damn city (and i usually still get harrassed, but for whatever reason, it just doesn’t get to me as much). and other days i’m like “god, i feel like i have no skin and i can’t handle the outside world hating me for existing right now, so if i go out, i’m gonna show less of my body.”
for me, it’s always a bit of a dance between my pride and my desire and my fear, and how much energy i have to hustle with street hassle. there’s no perfect or simple or out-the-box way to do it, is my point.
- $6 purple boxer briefs with a white band. adorable & super-comfortable. i usually have bad luck with underwear “for men,” so i am extremely pleased about this find. (and now i know where to find cute boxer briefs that actually fit my hips & ass, woo!)
- a fuzzy fuchsia bathrobe that might as well be labelled GINA ROBE FOR GINAS ONLY. it is basically what The Dude from The Big Lebowski would wear if The Dude was a drag queen? also it is my first bathrobe in a decade. i am probably over-excited about this.
- new drinking glasses & new plates & 2 shot glasses, a dollar each.