datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

shirtlesscommunist:

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

Hello tumblr.

I’ve noticed that a lot of y’all are really into the hit Netflix show Orange is the New Black. Now, I’m not going to bore you with any prison abolitionist rant here. I just have a request.

You know how Miss Claudette doesn’t get letters? How Tricia says that her friends used to write her a lot in the beginning but tapered off? How Piper mentions that the only mail she got that week was a card from her grandma? Well these are all fairly accurate things for real prisoners.

If you love this show and your heart hurts for them, that’s fine. Just please consider taking the time to get a prisoner penpal.

There are hundreds of lists of prisoners who need penpals. One of the best resources in the world is black and pink’s database of queer and trans prisoners. That’s at:

http://www.blackandpink.org/pen-pals/

I could go on and on about how important this is, but if you’ve watched OITNB, you should already know. Please consider sharing just a few minute of your life every month with someone who could really use it.

it’s probably not a good idea to get teenagers wrapped up with adults who are in prison…

Oh, is it not a good idea? It’s not like plenty of teenagers themselves are in prison (see Jane Doe, the 16 year old trans girl in an adult prison Connecticut facing NO charges for ZERO crimes), or like lot of teens have parents, siblings, friends, etc in prison already.

Man, I’m 27 years old. Most of my followers are my friends or friends-of-friends, all in my age range. It’s not just teenagers on tumblr and it’s not just teenagers reblogging this post.

But you’re correct, 13 year olds should probably not be writing to adults in any context ever. But parents and their kids can figure that out. It’s not easy to hide that your new penpal is writing from Ohio State Prison or whatever. Parents and kids could write letters together, though, especially, again, to political prisoners like Leonard Peltier or other activists who’ve been falsely inprisoned by this messed up system. That’s totally up to families to determine for themselves.

(via nemesissy)

A haiku about cops

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

“a few bad apples”
my fat ass; the whole fucking
orchard is rotten.

(via datingdisastersofaqueergirl)

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

Hi folks. As some as you may know, my name is Gus and I’m one of the contributors to a really amazing project called The Barf Zine. The Barf Zine is a collection of stories and writings from people with eating disorders (specifically bulimia and anorexia but EDNOS is also represented) who exist in…

(via nemesissy)

lack-lustin:

defilerwyrm:

thegreenwolf:

xtori34:

Looking up Scottish mythological creatures and

Wulver: a werewolf in Shetland, that is said to have had the body of a man with a wolf’s head. It was reported to have left fish on the windowsills of poor families.

That is the nicest Werewolf legend I’ve ever heard of.

Now I wish I could draw because I’d love to draw this.

image

i tried

I love Wulvers ;u;

(tagging y’all because WULVERS!)

(via gadaboutgreen)

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

momdiggity:

holy shit I’m having alot of feelings about this werewolf character who says his biggest fear is hurting someone and I’m starting to make huge connections between undead creatures (vampires/werewolves) and how i identify as a survivor of abuse

  • I’ve been changed by a traumatic event
  • I feel like I’m not human and should have dead
  • I’m scared that because someone did something awful to me, i may do it to someone else. My greatest fear is doing to someone else what has been done to me
  • I worry I’m a hazard to those around me and it’s best if i am isolated
  • i’m hairy/don’t go out very much

ok the last ones are unrelated

I’ve always thought that werewolves especially are a great allegory for abuse survivors because of the concept of transmission, too. Like, you become a werewolf after this hugely traumatic event, right? And you look like a person most of the time but sometimes you’re not, you’re out of control and wild and “a monster”. While you’re in this monster stage, you have the possibility of hurting someone else in the exact same way you were hurt, thus creating another survivor/werewolf. And it’s not really your fault, except it is. You create another survivor/werewolf, just like you were created, and that would be The Worst Thing. Werewolves are often completely consumed by the fear of hurting someone the way they were hurt. It’s an intense allegory, but I have a lot of love for it.

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

My entire dash is thin people right now, literally every single human in every picture is someone thin (and predominantly white and visibly able-bodied), and I cannot express to you how tiring that is and I wish I could just let you all see what the inside of my head looks like when I am subjected to only thin bodies for hours/days/weeks at a time because it looks like the worst tornado of eating disorder/self hate in the world and maybe this is why people with eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness maybe?

But I’m sure it’s just so offensive to you that a fat person says she doesn’t want to see thin people right now.

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

Kinda panicking cuz I just had to empty my savings account to cover my partner’s half of rent so now I have 34 dollars to my name. This means I cannot buy a plane ticket to San Francisco for the National Queer Arts Fest, where I’ve been invited to perform my piece about fatphobia and eating disorders.

Um. How do I make 350 dollars in a week?


Gus, hi! If you’d like, here is some advice (from someone who has both produced and performed in multiple shows for National Queer Arts Festival over the last decade):

- NQAF generally does have some grant money available for artists’ travel.
- That said, what kind of funding shows/projects gets varies wildly from show to show. Being a group/show that is fiscally sponsored by Queer Cultural Center/NQAF and that specifically works with them to obtain grant monies makes the chances of available funding much higher. I’m not sure which show you are in and what their grant situation is, so maybe this is moot? But if I were you, I would explain your situation to the folks who are curating your show ASAP, ask them to talk to QCC/NQAF, and see what can be done.
- I will say here that I have personally had years as a curator/producer for NQAF/QCC where all I can offer out-of-town performers is something like $60-$80 to partially subsidize their travel (which is useful for someone driving a short distance, or someone coming in on a bus or train from SoCal; and somewhat useful for people flying in from the PNW; and less useful but still kinda helpful for people flying in from further away).
- That said, I’ve also had years as a producer/curator for them where I’ve been able to completely subsidize out-of-town performers’ travel (but that has been in situations where the show I’m producing/curating has received a bigger grant).
- There is also a chance that the show in question might be able to use some of their door monies to help cover your travel after the fact? But that is both dependent upon how much door money they make and what they are wanting to do with the door funds.
- It could also just be worth it to call or email Pam Peniston (the QCC Director). Fair warning: She is a busy bee because she basically runs the whole damn festival (while she also has a separate day job). But she’s also an awesome and generous person, and whenever I’ve needed help bringing artists out, she’s been great to talk to about strategy. She might be able to strategize with you, or with you and your co-curators, about ways to make it work. If you need her contact info, just lemme know.

Good luck! I hope you make it out! I really wanna see this performance of yours!!! <3

fat bodies- shockingly we don’t all look the same

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

I wanna take a second out of my busy Supernatural marathon/cat cuddling/black berry eating self care day to talk about something that is becoming increasingly more frustrating to me.

Tumblr, I’m gonna need you to stop posting pictures/drawings of the same type of fat body that you find acceptable. You think you’re so rad and body positive because you’ve reblogged a couple of pictures of size 16 ladies with hourglass shapes? No. You’re not. You’re just annoying me.

See, those of us who are fat know something y’all don’t. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter how much you weigh or how big you are. Sometimes the difference between being celebrated and being ignored is a distribution of body fat. There are acceptable fat bodies and there are unacceptable fat bodies. Guess which one I live in?

Here are the qualities of an acceptable fat body for ladies/femmes/non-dudes:

1. white (pretty obvious)

2. non-droopy breasts for folks who have ‘em

3. comparatively smaller waist than hips and chest

4. proportionate butt and hips

5. thinner looking face/no double chin

Examples:

image

see also: Beth Ditto, every model on Torrid, etc.

Unacceptable fat body characteristics (aka I look in a mirror and list all the things I feel dysphoric about errrday)

1. double chin/fat face

2. shaped like a rectangle with no discernible waist

3. no ass

4. back fat

5. droopy breasts (for those who have ‘em)

examples:

image

Me looking super unimpressed before queer prom.

Other examples: Lauren from Glee,Gabourey Sidibe, etc

I know thin folks don’t get it. I know you think fat is fat. I know this because I have this argument with you like once a week (literally like once a week cuz like all my partners are skinny right now and so are all my friends). You’ll tell me about a club/meeting/event/party/house/whatever and I’ll say, “Were there fat kids there?” and you’ll look at me all uncomfortable and say, “Yeah…maybe” and I’ll be like, “Sigh. Ok. Were there kids there whose bodies looked like mine?” and you’ll be like, “Uh…” and then I’ll go/see pictures and there’s like one size 12 kid with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face and I don’t get sprung I just get annoyed.

Fat kids with acceptable bodies, I love you too. I ain’t mad that you get the “nicer” bod. And I know y’all get hella sexualized and fetishized too so it’s not all of bed of cakes. But hey, how about some solidarity with the rest of us?

I don’t have any other analysis, really. I’m not gonna tell y’all that all bodies are beautiful and body shape diversity is important in fat liberation because whatever, you know? I just started thinking about how this kind of hourglassbodypedestal is actually pretty transphobic too because those bodies are read as “natural” and “feminine” and all that gaggy stuff. But I ain’t a rectangle trans lady, just a rectangle cis lady so I’ll leave that analysis for someone who’s lived it.

Anyway seriously Tumblr I’m calling you out for your weird bodyshape politics. Knock it off, dudes.

You remain one of the best, Gus. <3

(via queershoulder)

datingdisastersofaqueergirl:

I know I talk about myself a lot. I got a lot of flaws, and I know one of my most annoying ones is that 9 times out of 10, if I’m talking, I’m talking about myself. I learned it from my mother, maybe, a badass Sicilian lady, born and raised in Queens, who will change an entire conversation to focus on herself, saying, “Ok but let’s talk about what’s important: let’s talk about me.” It’s a joke, kinda. I’m the same way and I know this.

But before you judge me too harshly, I want you to think about what it means that someone like me gets scorned for this behavior when someone like Woody Allen can make a career out of it. Fifty movies, couple of Oscars, and it’s all about him. I want you think about what it means for someone who never sees herself in art, in movies, in TV, in theater, in politics to draw attention to herself. I want you to think about an invisible person creating her own visibility. And I want you to think about how much shit I get for that.

So my writing is about me. I take numerous selfies and post them around the internet with nary a care in the world. My poems are about me. My stories are all just different characters based on me interacting with each other. I am my own muse and I will not apologize for this.

I center myself because no one else will.

For the record, I thoroughly enjoy listening to you talk no matter what the topic. <3

.

datingdisastersofaqueergirl replied to your post: Said with well-deserved fat femme crip…

yup

Aw Gus. <3 you always. I was thinking about you & your very smart words about this as I was writing.