Thus far, vacation has been an Eternal Slumber Part-tay full of: sleeping, eating empanadas, drinking coffee made Especially For Ginas, seeing extremely beloved old friends, making new friends, and staying up all night talking, cuddling, & accumulating bruises. So far, so great.
Next stop is Seattle for a week-ish (I take a Bolt bus tomorrow), then back to Portland for a week-ish.
I am being very deliberately lazy & lacksadaisical about “plans,” as it were, and just kinda taking every day as it goes. This is as it should be.
I just booked plane tickets (for SOOOO CHEAP!!! — please imagine that in Strongbad Voice) for a long overdue vacation.
Portland & Seattle friends: I’ll be hopping between your fair cities from October 5th - October 22nd. Let’s hang out, pretty please.
How To Have A Body is due to my Advisor in 9 days. I feel like I’m supposed to be stressing out. But I’m truly, genuinely not. My anxiety is… honestly, kinda non-existent right now. Like, yeah I’m a little tired, and yeah I’m having to be extra-diligent/protective about things like Breakfast and Exercise and Taking Breaks and Enough Sleep. But mostly I’m just excited & joyous & into where the book is taking me.
I have been writing all my life, and I have made many attempts at many books. But I honestly never knew before this one that writing a book could be this fun, this exhilarating. This is BAD-ASS.
I turned in 21 pages on Wednesday night (well, okay, actually, in the wee hours of Thursday morning) and I wrote 1,000 new words today.
It has been a rough around the edges week (school stress, wheeemotions stress, etc). But I am feeling pretty fucking bad-ass right now.
Powers That Be, can I write like this every week? :)
I haven’t been disingenuous in what I’ve said describing my perception of “truth” and “reality.” Certainly, I understand what is generally meant to be the “truth,” I understand this notion, but it’s not something I trust in, OK?
The only answer that feels true (I said feels, not is) is that yes, the character Minnie is me, but she is not me. She is a projection of some tumult which originates within me, but she is not me. I use elements of myself, including my likeness, for the character, perhaps as Cindy Sherman uses herself in her work, but like Sherman’s photographs, the work itself is not any more about the creator than it is about everyone. I won’t deny that Minnie does things I have done, and that things happen to her that have happened to me, but she, unlike me, having been created, is who she is and will remain so, unchanged now. I make no attempt to create “documentary.” There is a process of dissociation that takes place when I make a story, I make creative decisions in a fugue state that I could hardly describe to you, but the end result is, I hope, a story with some meaning or resonance, something created, with a beginning, a middle and an end, an encapsulation of feeling and impression, but in no way a documentary of anything other than an “emotional truth.”
If I told most interviewers that my work is “true” and that it is based on real events that occurred in my life, they would more readily accept this than they do the explanation I try to give. Sadly, what they would believe feels to me like a lie and a simplification of a process that is for me as complex and vague as life itself …"
— Phoebe Gloeckner. BOO-YAH.